You thought the Marlins’ rumored new logo could cause eye cancer? Well, if you value your sense of sight, you might not want to take a peek at the absolutely insane robotic structure the Marlins plan to install in their new stadium. It’s like someone vomited a bunch of cliché South Florida imagery on a Guy Harvery shirt after a rough night on South Beach and then motorized it.
This is not some sort of joke. A video was unveiled on the Facebook page of the Miami-Dade County Department of Cultural Affairs in July, but because apparently no one pays attention to the Facebook page of the Miami-Dade County Department of Cultural Affairs, the eyesore wasn’t noticed until now. However, the page does describe it as a “design development,” so there’s at least some hope the thing could be tweaked before it becomes a reality.
“When you’re in that ballpark, and a Marlins’player hits a home run, the whole park is going to come alive with this feature,” said Michael Spring, director of the Miami-Dade Department of Cultural Affairs. “Lasers will go off. It’s going to be fabulous.”